Unexpected guest

Enough of sadness. What for? He celebrated life. He made my life unique. There was never a day in our life after he was born that we were not having anything to do. Here is one incident which made him unique in his own way. Strangely, it was not me who remembered this. But it was in his letters to me. 

While we were living in Patna, one day it was raining very hard. Suddenly from somewhere a Sadhu came to our house. He was screaming on the street that there is a boy born in this lane whose destiny is totally different from others. 

Some superstitious ladies in our lane pointed him to our house. He simply entered our house and without waiting for an invitation came inside our house. My grandma became very scared since she believed that these kind of Sadhu's are not to be messed with. 

The Sadhu ordered the child to be brought in front of him. After seeing the baby he said that there is a mark of a moon in his thighs. Skeptic me mom looked in the thigh and yes it was there!

The Sadhu told that this boy is born under strange stars and his life would be different. I remember my family asking him how different. But he clamped up. He just said it would be different. 

I remember everyone contemplating how it could be different. Some said he would be in politics while others argued he would be a film star. But looking at his cute face I surely felt he would be different. 

How I wish today I get hold of that Sadhu so that I could ask him why he was so mysterious. If he knew that Reuben was different why did he not warn us in what way? Maybe ...just maybe things would be different.

Part 1: Interview of an Organ Donar- Sharath Iyengar

Is Organ Donation all talk and no response business? I thought so till I met some youngsters who made me realize that the word 'Idealism' is not just gathering dust in the pages of our book. Somewhere out there, we have few youngsters who are still burning the fire of idealism. 

Donating your organs is no small feat and it is not something our government or our social institutes can implement. It is not our fundamental rights and not our moral duty. So what makes us donate our organs? Is it only a personal tragedy that makes us realize that we have to do it? I am ashamed to say that this is what I did. But then I met some youngsters who have done this selfless act just for the deed. I felt humbled and honored to have met them. 

I will be asking some of these heroes of our world the motivation behind this. I just wanted to understand why they did what they did and hope and pray that their stories will spread the word in every household one day. 

Meet Sharath Iyengar:

I try all my very best in spreading the message and till date from March 8 2013 (my b'day), I've made around 4 people to pledge it. Though not thro' facebook, thats because it usually ends up only in "liking" the page/ re-sharing/ signign a cause. As I've seen, not everybody are interested in doing it. So, I'm doing it in my factory (I'm employed in the great HAL) by word-of-mouth, encouraging people to donate blood atleast once in half year and also to pledge their organs. Many have also come forward. Also, on Aug 15th, there is an old students association function in a rural place off Marathalli, from where one of my friends come to work. They had organized a blood donation camp on Jan 26 and attained a record collection from 192 donars. Like-wise, this time the thrust is on organ donation and I'm writing a letter to ZCCK for the same, learning to know the process of doing it off-line, since it is in a rural are and not every body are computer literate / internet users.

He describes himself as a guy with an attitude of  'Simple Living and High Thinking'. His birthday gift to himself is donating blood on his birthday. Such youngsters are rare today and I hope not extinct. And for the skeptics out there, his Facebook status states:"What better way to celebrate the b'day than by donating blood and pledging my organs?"


Sharath Iyengar- Sharing his thoughts....

What motivated you to take such a novel step?

I always had this penchant to do something back to the society and not for the individual. Try to help the needy in one or the other way. I used to donate my blood on my b'day and also made a couple of my friends to it on their b'days'. This time after seeing Reubens' causes, I planned to pledge my organs, until then, frankly speaking, never knew that our other organs could also be pledged, just like our eyes. Though I would read in the newspapers about the transplantations, never thought that it was about the organs that were already pledged and donated. I wanted this pledging to coincide on my b'day and asked Reuben itself about the procedure. Though, I could not do it on my b'day, but it took me 2 days to do it. 

Did you discuss your decision with family or friends?

I discussed this issue with my family who readily obliged for the same. After I received my card, I proudly showed it to my friends and motivated them too, to pledge and they too agreed. Though, I did not find the need to discuss about me, pledging my organs with any of my friends except for Reuben.

Can you tell the readers what the procedure is?

Pledging our organs is surely much much easier than opening an e-mail account or creating a FB profile. All one needs to do is just to click on the URL, follow the procedure available there. The online form is just one page. Before proceeding, it is good to discuss with the family members first. Once, all the details are filled in, which are very basic in nature, two witnesses are required, whose details and addresses are required to be filled up in the designated places. Once you "Submit" it, it's done, you become a proud organ-donor. Once it is done, you get a card through post/ courier which requires you to fill up and have it in your custody at all times. In case of any unforeseen incidents, the availability of that card is sufficient to acknowledge the fact that you have pledged your organs. You can have a go at the online form by clicking on the ONLINE FORM

Many people have religious stigmatism regarding organ donation? Did it ever cross your mind?

You are absolutely right. I have experienced it first hand in this case. When I was educating my friends regarding organ donation, its uses among others, this came as a reply from one of them. He said, if we donate any of our organs in this life, we will have those organs missing i.n our next life. So, I said, when we are donating our Kidneys, Corneas, Heart, Lungs, Liver, Pancreas, Heart Valves and other tissues in this life and if I'm born without any of these in my next life, I'd be the happiest person not to be born at all as a man cannot be born without a heart or lungs/ livers. How can we expect a baby to be born without any of these? So, this question back to him made him realize the myth behind the organ donations. 

Do you think we can ever understand the importance of Organ Donation?

We can surely understand the importance of organ donation only through self realization. One can only motivate the other for the cause and he shall not motivate another person unless he knows the value of the recipient's life saved. Education is the only means to reach to the masses. Not to forget the regular newspaper articles that tell the success stories of numerous recipients and those who want them. One more thing that should be highlighted, I personally feel, is that not every pledger can donate his organs. It all depends upon the type of death he/ she gets and the duration lapsed before realizing that the person is dead from the time of death. So, only a fraction of donors can have their organs kept alive in some others' physical body.  Thus, the demand is huge but supply is never met. The only hope is to enroll multiple people to pledge their organs. 

Thanks to all the Donors!!!

Talking about organ donation is one of the toughest things I have ever done. Many of us are afraid to talk about it. I wondered why. I started asking questions to many youngsters and aged. The answers I got have opened my eyes. I would wonder why people are not responding to my queries. I would wonder where I am going wrong. I would wonder whether I am making an impact. But one thing I would not wonder is - Am I right in asking this of people?

There are some names I would love to take here- who have done the act. Youngsters who are proud organ donors. I have come across young girls who have not only donated their organs but who has also motivated her family to sign up too. I am proud to know such people and I do hope they will come forward with their stories for me to tell it to you all.

And then I came across a person who asked me Have I done it or am I preaching only. At first I got very angry and then I thought why am I getting angry. I have suffered as I have seen a loved one suffering. But to all who have not faced this situation, to them this is surreal. I understand. And to answer your query I will openly say that YES I have donated my organs.

I live in Texas. When we go for our license, we are asked whether we want to donate our organs. We registered on the spot at Donate Life Texas. It is globally recognized and wherever I meet my maker, I leave my organs behind. 

In the course of Reuben's operations I have met so many of his friends who have selflessly donated blood. Once when I was by his side I saw so many of his friends who without preamble would come and give their blood and such an act would always bring tears in his eyes. He would call you all his Blood Brothers. 

This time when I was not there, I know many of you came. I heard that most of you came because of his friend's Facebook Status. I was overwhelmed. I am humbled. And I promise to be a part of this selfless act whenever I can. Here I know of someone who gave her blood for the first time. I know she was scared but she did it for friendship. That act of hers will never be forgotten. Like that so many of you turned up. I wish I knew all your names. I wish I met all of you.  But you guys are a motivation for this movement. I just hope many of you join me in my endeavor for this awareness. 

I will be following this post with the interviews of the people who have actually donated their organs. Gathering information is taking time and i am sorry if this topic saddens you. But this is my small step in saving just one life if I can.

I have so many plans which we both had discussed , especially in the last few months. I don't know how far I will be able to go alone without him but I sure am going to try. Thank you all for private messages you guys have sent me, I respect your privacy. Thank you to all those dialysis technicians who have joined me in my fight and to all those Doctor's who are so free with their information and most of all the biggest thank you to all those laymen who are afraid but yet have come forward to donate their organs.

Being Born 21st June 1982

Introduction...

Birth of a child is a joyous affair. Everyone wants kids. Marriage in India is done to have kids, right? But in this we forget that it is not only the child we want, but we want  HEALTHY KIDS. Every mom should at that time needs to look after her health, take care of what she eats and not live in stress. That said and done, it also becomes imperative that if there is an inkling of doubt regarding the child's health, start researching. If the doctor has any inclination of something being wrong with the baby, then please take necessary actions. However, much it seems heartless at that point, I can assure you, no child wants to go through an ocean of pain, social sympathy and economic torture.

From Reuben...

Dear Modern Parents, 

Please take care of your kids from the day they are conceived. If you have any inclination that the child will not be 100% perfect in mind and body, then please rethink before delivering. If you think I am being cruel now, it is nothing compared to the life I have led. 

I wanted to laugh and play cricket. I could not. I wanted to ride a bike, I could not. You still don't think I need to be aborted? Well, how about this, I never could eat salt in any form all through my childhood. When my friends were getting ready for a sports day, I was busy getting hooked to an I.V. I was always having fluid retention in my body. There were day I could not walk also. All I can say is I was not given the choice whether I wanted to live like this or not.

Don't hate me too much for this suggestion. I was only 4 when I started questioning why I am different from others.  May all kids be born healthy. Love Reuben.

From Rubina...

My mother had hepatitis when she was carrying him. The doctor would not abort and she convinced my parents that nothing will happen to the child. My mother was hooked on saline for 6 months, eating only boiled food, rasgullas and sugarcane juice.... and lots and lots of saline water.

When he would ask me why he was born I could not answer him. I knew not the purpose of his birth except for the fact that I loved my bro too much. How do I know that I loved him too much? I cried every year once when the doctors would say that he is in a critical stage. I cried like that for 29 years.

Note to my readers...
I am sorry if I have made anyone sad. All I know that no child should endure what he had endured. But then this is not a tale of sadness but a tale of bravery, a constant battle between life and death.

The first time it happened, he was in an incubator.........

Being Daryl

From Reuben to All : [His exact words] 

The transformation from being Ruben Bhowmik to being Reuben Daryl was like a journey , the path had lots of twist and turns and lots of potholes and difficulties to reach my destination of being "Reuben Daryl " and the journey also had sacrifices too ! Yet I conquered it! Well, I have never written a sort of write-ups anything in my life other than writing short stories and essays way back in my school days as assignments. But, something suddenly sparked in me to write a memoir about myself and my family. People who walked into my life my life made it wonderful and those who walked out made it excellent. This memoir contains all the memories that I shared very closely with my family members beyond mom, dad and my elder sister. It’s a journey of my life seen through my eyes, seeing my family and the people around me. The journey of my life has been exciting, filled with deceit and betrayals at the same time and yet making the best out of my life so far. 

Handling my kidney disease on the other hand is another major part of my life.  Being born on June 21, 1984 makes me a cusp between two zodiac signs, Gemini and Cancer. The characteristic of Gemini has a complete effect on me, that’s versatility. This memoir would give you an insight view of the circumstances I have been through my life so far. Remember, it’s not complains that I would be mentioning, I call them “experiences” that I am sharing which are very personal that made me.  Read the memoir and you would surely get to know what it takes to be “Being Daryl”...

From Rubina To Ruben:

So now you want me to put this up? How come I end up with all the hard work and you are always relaxing? Not fair, bro... :)  But come to think of it., we always had this fight. You the lazy and me the lazier. What a pair!

I see that you have touched a lot of people in your lives. You have certainly given me something beautiful. A destination, a journey. I hope I reach the place you had asked me to go. So here we go bro... The journey starts. Stick with me or, ok no blackmailing ......

A note to all my Readers:

This journey is the journey of Reuben Bhowmik. He was a soul who touched all our lives, family and friends. Not all are good and not all are bad. But then, that is what makes him 'Daryl' - a name he chose to become. Why does a man want to leave his family name? He was very insistent on the name Daryl. When I used to ask him why he would say," Sounds good." I always took it in his face value.. or should I say voice value. [For the last two years, he was a voice for me.. A voice I would talk to for at least 10 hours a day.]

Today I found the meaning of the name.. Daryl means Beloved Loved One... 

That is all he was searching for... to love and to be loved.